I can't unlove you
by Firegambler
Summary: Songfic about Rogue and Remy. Title kinda says it all! Warning...major angst. Please read and review. ROMY!


_**Hiya everyone, I'm in a sort of…okay look my fiancé left me and then two days later told me he had a new girlfriend. So I've been crying a lot and just need to write and this came out. Hope you enjoy. The song is called "I can't unlove you." By Kenny Rogers. Enjoy. **_

_**Disclaimer: I do not own the song 'I can't unlove you',, Rascal Flatts, the song 'What hurts the most' or anything pertaining to, or dealing with X-men. I don't own anything! Sad isn't it. I don't even own my own house…my parents do. Review! **_

Two years, seven months, and twenty two days. Red on black eyes checked the calendar once more, not believing it had been that long. Surely, it couldn't have been that long. He took a deep breath and like every other morning began his ritual. Wake up, check the calendar to see if maybe, just maybe, time had gone back, mark the day, and head to the shower. He emerged from the shower in steam, and dressed in silence, not making eye contact with the bed he knew would be empty.

Two years ago, she would have been sleeping still. Two years ago he would have made her breakfast, brought it up through the halls and smiled at all the residents of the institute, and then gently woken her up with a kiss on the head.

"Don't tink about dat." He warned himself. He scanned the closet for his shoes when someone knocked on the door.

"Ya in there, mate?"

Sighing Remy opened the door to none other than John, the resident Aussie. He took one look at Remy and sighed.

"I won't say it, mate." He promised and Remy closed the door behind him. John moved to the bed and sat down on it. "But ya know I'm thinking it."

"Remy knows." Remy whispered and returned to the closet. He reached for a box of shoes and knocked over another box. It clattered to the floor and its contents spread in every direction. Both Remy and John watched the mess on the floor, neither moving to pick it up, neither speaking.

_**Postcards and letters, and pictures made to last forever. **_

_**To be boxed up and tossed away.**_

"Let me get that for ya, mate" John said jumping up. Remy bent to pick up the pages as he neatly placed them back into the box, trying his hardest not to look at the emerald eyed girl that was watching him from them. His hand froze over one piece and he couldn't seem to find the will to pick up.

_**Nic-knacks and souvenirs. In an afternoon, there out of here.**_

John noticed and picked up the Queen of Hearts card for him. "Ya need ta throw this stuff away, mate." He said softly. Remy nodded but put the box back up in the closet all the same. John sighed.

_**But what they mean to me can never be replaced.**_

"Look mate, I know ya loved the Sheila. But she's gone. She ain't ever coming back. Ya gota let her go." John said.

Remy's patience snapped. He'd heard this a million times from every member of the institute. It was the same line they had all delivered him for two years seven months and twenty two days. He was sick of it.

"Don't ya tink Remy don tried dat? I have! I can't get her out of moi mind!" He through the comb he had picked up half way across the room and snatched his coat off of the chair it sat on. His eyes paused at the vanity the chair was in front of and he could almost see her reflection as she combed through her beautiful brown hair…with those white stripes framing her face.

_**I can't unthink about you.**_

He closed his eyes for a moment, imagining her standing up and wrapping her arms around him, just like she used to. She had felt so small in his arms, but so right.

_**I can't unfeel your touch.**_

He could hear her whispering as if she was standing beside him now, telling him that she loved him. _"Always and forever, Rems."_ He could see her playfully shoving him away when he'd tried to kiss her. _"Ya wana die, swamp rat?"_ but he hadn't cared. They were working through that. They had been able to kiss for thirty minutes, touch for thirty minutes, and it had been getting better. _"I love ya, Rems."_

_**I can't unhere all the words.**_

A sad smile tugged at his lips as he laid a hand gently on the back of the chair. "I love you too, mon chere." He whispered, as a tear came to his eyes.

_** Unsay all the things that use to mean so much**_

"I can't forget about her, mon ami. No matter how hard I try." He didn't look at John but he knew his friend was still watching him closely, as if waiting for him to get violent again. Remy almost laughed, if only he could remember how. Remembering how to laugh, how to smile, how to be happy, that was hard, but remembering her laugh, her smile, seeing her happy, that was easy.

_**I wish I could unremember everything my hearts been through.**_

Without a word Remy opened his door. "Where ya goin mate?" John asked, caution and alarm in his voice. He leaped to his feet and followed Remy out of the room.

"To find Wolvie." Remy replied and John tagged along with him. Contrary to most belief, the event had brought Remy and Logan closer. Logan was almost never seen without a bottle in his hand. Often Remy would join Logan for a drink, cigar, and a poker game here and there. But most of the time, Remy and Logan spent their days knocking the crap out of each other. Remy prayed that maybe, just maybe, Logan would kill him. Then he could see his chere again.

_**I'm finding out it's impossible to do.**_

Logan wasn't in the danger room, but he was in the parlor, leaning over the pool table with a beer in one hand and a pool stick in the other.

"Mind if I join, mon ami?" Remy asked as he and John snatched up the other sticks.

_**It's no use**_

"Don't mind at all." Logan mumbled and turning to the small freezer behind him he pulled out another beer and tossed it at Remy. It would be gone within a few minutes. Sometimes, Remy wondered why he even drank. It only made her memory more realistic. Maybe that's why. Because in those times when he was completely wasted, he could feel her, see her, hear her. Just for those moments. Because, in his own mind, he was going to get her back one way or another.

_**I can't unlove you.**_

The pool game didn't last long. They never did, and Remy found himself stepping onto his Harley and following Logan out of the institute, toward whatever bar Logan could find. The road was dark and the night was cold. Only the roar of the bikes broke the silence. Remy reached for his radio and almost cursed his stupidity as an old song began to play. He knew it well, Rascal Flatts, What Hurts The Most. He hated that song, simply because they had no idea how bad it really hurt.

_**Interstates and old song.**_

Regardless of that fact, he listened to the song, hoping a happy tune might come on after it. However his luck wasn't that good. The song had just begun and he found himself listening to every word and trying desperately not to loose it. He concentrated on Logan's bike in front of him and tried to block out everything else, just waiting for a happy tune.

_**Like time they go on and on.**_

Ironically, Logan found a bar just as the song ended and together the two entered. It was early in the morning, sun not yet rising. Logan, John, and Remy had been getting up this early every morning, going through the same routine. By lunch, Remy wouldn't remember how he got to the bar.

The bartender recognized Logan and Remy, Remy had no idea who he was. The drinks were served and together the two sat down at a dark booth.

"Ya know. Stripes wouldn't want this."

Remy looked down at the bottle in his hands and nodded. He knew all too well. He could almost hear her voice now yelling at the two of them_. "Ya'll are gona kill yourselves one of these days." _

Logan took a swig of his miller and laid it back down on the table. "Ya think…ya ever wonder if there's an after life, Gumbo?"

Remy nodded. "Remy knows der is. Dat's where his chere is."

Logan took another swig.

"So you think we'll see her again." It wasn't a question, so Remy didn't answer.

"I guess, if we're gona see her again, maybe we shouldn't be doing this. Maybe we should move on. Ya know, make her proud…if she's really up there watching us." Remy didn't reply, his fingers traced the lip of his beer as he thought.

_**I guess I could learn to do the same.**_

"Maybe." Remy agreed, but something in him protested…his heart? No, he'd lost that a long time ago. That entire area was numb now.

_**I could wake up without you. With these two arms not around you.**_

He closed his eyes at that thought. Could he really move on? Wake up alone…or with someone else, Could he really spend a night not dreaming about her? Not longing for her to be with him? Convince himself every morning that he was right? That she would want him to move on.

_**Tell myself it's meant to be this way.**_

"I don't tink I can." Remy whispered.

_**No matter how I try some thing I can not change.**_

"Me neither." Logan admitted and they drank the rest of their beers in silence. Logan ordered another but Remy declined.

"Got some tings to do, Mon ami." He mumbled and paid for his drink. Without another word he left the bar and followed the streets. He had traveled this road many times. He knew every tree, every turn, and every sign. Nothing on it changed without him noticing it. And at the end of it, was his chere.

He parked in front of the large iron gates and moved slowly through them, nodding to the watch who recognized him. Red on black eyes barely glanced at where he was going. His legs moved him over the ground and in the right direction on their own. No thought was needed for this journey. His feet naturally lead him to her.

He stopped at the top of one of the many hills in the cemetery, under a large willow tree. The willow tree he had planted just for her, to shade her grave. Tears came to his eyes as he sunk to his knees in front of the gray tombstone. His left hand shook as he reached out to trace the letters inscribed on it.

_Anna Marie LeBeau. Untouchable, but touched so many. Loving wife. Loving friend. _

His hand wouldn't touch the dates. He refused to look at how short of a life she had lived. If only he had gone with her that day. If only he hadn't had been so stubborn and wanted to spend the day with the boys. If only he had just gone shopping with her. He would have been behind the wheel instead of her. He would have been smashed in that car instead of her. It would have been his grave. Not hers. It should have been his grave. It should have been him. The Simi should have crushed him. He should be dead.

He cried out in pain as he hit the dirt with his hand. Tears streamed down his face as he sobbed. His left hand, with the gold ring still tightly on it, still held to the stone.

"Je suis désolé, Chere, je suis si désolé. Je ne peux pas unthink de vous. Je ne peux pas unfeel votre touché. Je ne peux pas unhear tout le mot, effacer toutes les choses Cet usage pour signifier si beaucoup. Je souhaite que je peux unremember. Tout mon coeur a été par. Je découvre c'est impossible de faire. Oh, rien ne sert. Je ne peux pas unlove vous."

Remy took a deep breath to still his emotions and leaned back against the tree. "Je Suis desole" he repeated. "I'm so sorry."

_**I can't unthink about you**_

_**I can't unfeel your touch**_

_**I can't unheard all the words**_

_**Unsay all the things**_

_**That used to mean so much**_

_**I wish I could unremember**_

_**Everything my heart's been through**_

_**I'm finding out it's impossible to do**_

_**Oh, it's no use**_

_**I can't unlove you.**_

Just like that he stayed. His eyes never leaving the words, _Anna Marie LeBeau _and his heart never leaving the girl that name belonged to. Forever and always, his heart never left that girl the name belonged to. Because unloving someone, is impossible to do.

_**I know, you guys are probably thinking I'm such a sap right now. I just love this song and love this couple. Sorry I killed Rogue but I thought it just worked better than her leaving him. Wow, I'm actually crying. Anyway the song is by Kenny Rogers and is on Youtube if you want to listen to it. It's really sad. Oh and the translation to all of that French is the chorus that is right under that. He was saying those lines…in French. So I hope you enjoyed and please please please review! **_


End file.
